Navigating the Storm: My Experience with Depression During Pregnancy
After about 6 months of trying for our third, when I first saw the positive pregnancy test that signaled my daughter Addison was on the way, I expected the usual rollercoaster of emotions: excitement, nervousness, and hope. What I didn’t anticipate was the heavy weight that would settle over me just a few weeks later, pulling me into one of the darkest periods of my life.
When I was around 8 weeks pregnant, I became miserable—emotionally, mentally, and physically. This wasn’t typical exhaustion or the hormonal ups and downs many of us expect during pregnancy. This was an all-consuming fog of depression, accompanied by relentless physical symptoms that made even the simplest tasks feel insurmountable.
I spent most of my days on the couch, unable to care for myself, let alone my family. Getting up felt like moving mountains. My 2 year old needed me, and yet, I found myself relying on my 8 year old son far more than I ever imagined I would. He stepped in to help with his younger brother in ways that warmed my heart and broke it all at once. Some of the things he could handle easily, like bringing his brother a snack or grabbing a toy. But other responsibilities were beyond what any 8 year old should have to shoulder.
My husband was working as a restaurant manager at the time, and the non-traditional hours absolutely killed us. My husband did it all when he was home, and when he was at work, my 8 year old did it all.
As the pregnancy progressed, so did the severity of my symptoms. The physical toll was immense. Severe pelvic pain left me struggling to move, compounding my sense of helplessness. Meanwhile, my mental health spiraled further. I felt trapped, isolated, and hopeless, even as I tried to remind myself of the joy waiting for me at the end of this journey.
Photo Credit: The Framed Narrative
Photo Credit: The Framed Narrative
By the time I reached 38 weeks, my care team decided to induce labor. The physical pain was significant, but it was my mental health that ultimately made induction a necessity. I desperately needed relief, and my care team recognized that delivering my daughter was the best path forward.
When Addison was finally in my arms, I felt a glimmer of light returning. But the journey didn’t end there. Recovering from prenatal depression is a process, and I had to give myself grace as I adjusted to life as a mother of three.
Why I’m Sharing This
As a parent coach, I often encourage others to be open about their challenges, but I’ve learned that it’s easier said than done. Talking about prenatal depression, or any perinatal mood disorder, can feel shameful. There’s an unspoken expectation that pregnancy should always be a joyful time, and when it’s not, we feel like we’ve failed.
But here’s the truth: pregnancy is complex. It’s beautiful and transformative, yes, but it can also be physically and emotionally taxing in ways we don’t always talk about. For some of us, it’s the hardest thing we’ll ever go through, and that’s okay. My first two pregnancies were nothing like this, and even though I knew deep down that every pregnancy is different, I felt all this guilt for not finding much joy in this one.
I’m sharing my story because I want you to know you’re not alone. If you’re struggling during pregnancy, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent or that you love your baby any less. It means you’re human, navigating a monumental life event in the best way you can.
What I’ve Learned
Looking back, I wish I had sought help earlier. If you’re experiencing depression during pregnancy, here are some things I’d recommend:
1. Talk to your doctor. Be honest about your symptoms, both physical and emotional. They can provide resources or discuss treatment options that might help.
2. Lean on your support system. Whether it’s a partner, friend (shout to my moms social group Babbling Babes), or family member, don’t hesitate to ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone.
3. Prioritize self-compassion. It’s easy to feel guilt or shame during tough times, but remember that you’re doing your best. Give yourself the same grace you’d extend to a friend in your shoes.
4. Use your community resources. There are many resources available to us in the Milwaukee area, my personal favorite is Moms Mental Health Initiative. Moms Mental Health Initiative is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping moms navigate perinatal mood and anxiety disorders by sharing information, connecting them to resources, and providing peer-driven support.
For Parents in the Thick of It
If you’re in the midst of a challenging pregnancy, I see you. It’s hard, and it’s okay to say that out loud. Reaching out for support, whether through a friend, a healthcare provider, or a parent coach, can make a world of difference.
Pregnancy doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Even in the darkness, there’s a light waiting for you on the other side. And when you hold your baby for the first time, you’ll realize that, despite it all, you were stronger than you ever knew.
If you’d like support navigating the challenges of parenting, or just someone to listen, I’m here for you. Together, we can find ways to make the heavy days feel just a little bit lighter.
Have you experienced similar challenges? I’d love to hear your story or support you in your journey. Feel free to comment here or reach out to me through my contact page.
